I can't sleep or I sleep too much... way too much. I rarely every get it right.

I only feel anger and/or pain and sometimes I just want to feel nothing at all.

I want to cry so I can feel alive.

I have to fake happiness but sometimes I just can't.

I hurt everyone around me, especially one I love most.

I have unhealthy and weird thoughts, wants and dreams.

I like the feeling of being used.

I long to feel " below " others, especially the one I love.

I am indeed a weird person.

My life, my body only takes up space on earth.

There is no good inside me.

I try to buy love because I have none to give. Love is just a word I use often because maybe if I say it enough, I'll feel it.

For every hour of happiness I have they're 48 or more of pain, confusion and sadness.

I contemplate suicide often but one person keeps me here... _______.

Money is gone. I had it and now it's gone.

Due to my own accord my health is declining.

Alcohol no longer masks my emotions so I don't drink much. Plus even it did help with the pain, I've grown to be comfortably in agony.

Even on the brightest of days I never see the sun.

I don't know how to be a friend and I TRULY don't know how or why anyone would want to be mine.

I have been used by so many people that I now lust for it.

I take a mood stabilizer... I guess it assure me that my depression is stabilized.

I want to get better but I know I can't because God has chosen me as to endure this. I am his fucking joke. I am here to suffer. It's my role.

The more I get, the more I want.

I am ugly... it's not my fault.

This is just a whisper that I wish someone would here but it also sounds like I am trying to get someone to feel sorry enough for me to love me. What the fuck is wrong with me? I don't deserve to have any friends.

If I'm still around when Dad dies I am going to sell everything and just go away. Lie about my name and age and disappear.

Thanks for reading and FUCK YOU!